Closer: Cam & Alex
This is the first in our Closer series, a look at how technology brings couples, cousins (i.e. family), and close friends closer. Cam and Alex are a married couple in their late 20’s living in Manhattan.
Unbucket: What technology (applications, websites, etc.) bring you closer to each other?
Cam: I think one of the first things we did once we became more serious in our relationship is share a Google Calendar. That’s more from a logistical standpoint, just helping us keep track of social things, when he has things with work that I should know about or maybe if we have ideas of when we’ll be traveling.
Alex: BBM, text message, uh, poking on Facebook!
Cam: Let’s take this back a notch, let’s be honest: I like to poke him, and I get offended when he doesn’t accept my poke. That’s because he doesn’t use that feature of Facebook, it’s not important to him (Alex: Yep), but I personally enjoy the pokage. In terms of what brings us closer, we enjoy playing games on my iPhone. If we’re ever on a train or we’re traveling, we’ve played Draw Something together and we’ll crack up.
Alex: Word Mole
Cam: That’s not even an app!
Alex: It’s like the one game that’s on the Blackberry.
Cam: Oh, Word Mole (laughs). I’m talking about specific apps that we might play together. Alex would enjoy apps if he could have them more (his employer heavily restricts his Blackberry) but when we have downtime, or we’re in an airport where we need to entertain ourselves, games are something we share together. It might not be a situation where the other person is on the other end of the technology, but it’s still us using technology together.
Unbucket: How does privacy factor into the technology you use to connect with each other?
Cam: At least for me personally, privacy is not something that comes to mind, playing games, Google Calendar, I’m very comfortable with the technology.
Alex: Maybe you don’t think about it, but you pretty much hope/assume no one can hack or see your Google Calendar.
Cam: The assumption is there.
Alex: Exactly, the assumption is there. We act like it’s completely private. Sure, plenty of people at Google could see it if they wanted. I don’t even know if someone could get in from the outside.
Cam: I don’t know if this has something to do with us using technology together, but both of us individually are very careful about privacy with Facebook. I’m unsearchable and Alex has a picture from his childhood as his profile photo so that he isn’t recognizable. I’m very wary about the photos of him I post on Facebook because he has friends on there from business school, and even though they are friendly colleagues, there are things I wouldn’t want them to see. We’re both thoughtful if we’re going to use Facebook in that way.
Beyond that, for the most part, assumptions are being made. It’s not that we don’t care that there’s no privacy, it’s just that we assume that privacy settings have been put in place.
Unbucket: As a society, do you think technology is bringing us closer or driving us apart?
Cam: I think it’s pulling your close relationships closer, but I don’t think it’s necessarily improving acquaintance type relationships. Some people of an older generation might view it in a way that technology makes you not as close because you’re typing and texting rather than talking and seeing people. I think a lot of times they aren’t seeing the benefits and ease, and that they’re being reactionary. I think most people of my age group believe it’s benefiting relationships.
Alex: I think technology is adding transparency to people’s relationships, and transparency will naturally drive people closer, but I think there’s a potential for backlash where too much transparency makes people feel uncomfortable.
Cam: I agree with that. It depends on your relationship with someone, with certain friends or people I’m closer with, I think that transparency does make us closer.